Understanding and relating to an “emotional” person has always been an issue for me despite my efforts to be tolerant of any personality. I believed for so long that emotional people are weak and lack the ability to stand up for themselves when the situation demands. It became that more frustrating when at the start of a new friendship with an amazing person (now my best friend), I found out she is the emotional type.
We would fight a lot, rant about things I now see as unnecessary, and eventually, makeup after realizing how judgmental I had been.
Dale Carnegie made a statement that I find touching. He said, “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.”
It’s interesting that despite the label of “emotional” I had placed on my friend; I was usually the one guilty of making not-so-great decisions. I would do things my way because I thought I had to be right since I was more logical. However, of the both us, she has always been the more meticulous one. She considers all sides of a situation and weighs all possible solutions to arrive at the best conclusion.
I began to watch my friend closely without mentioning a thing – I noticed how she would break down and cry to expel her anger and frustrations, then get back on her feet to make the best decisions moving forward. On the other hand, I noticed how I would be extremely logical about things, with zero emotions, and still depend on her advice on the best action to take.
Additionally, she did things in a timely and organized manner; would go to bed on time, wake up early, eat on time, and was evidently very productive as a result. Whereas I would sleep late, wake up pretty late, eat late, and while I was productive in the moment, I would always break down later on. It confused me how a seemingly emotional being whom I thought to be weak could help me, the less emotional one.
A few years later, I read a book by Karen McLaren titled “Language of Emotions.” She mentioned something that struck a chord within me, “…emotions are not bad and scary things, but signs that the psyche is trying to heal itself. I learned to see emotions as necessary expressions of what were perhaps unspeakable inner truths…”
When I completed the book, I began to understand my friend better. I could now comprehend why her crying and yelling are essential to her mental health and how holding back is bad for mine. At that point, I understood the importance of emotions in the decision-making process.
Before we move on, what do logic and emotion mean? According to Toastmasters, “logic is a language of the conscious mind while emotion is the language of the unconscious mind.”
I believe this definition to be correct and true because a completely emotional heart cannot make conscious decisions, but a logical mind can.
However, the issue with operating solely off one end of the scale is you won’t always make the best decisions.
After watching my friend critically, I figured that she had a balance between her logical mind and her emotional heart. My friend had no issues letting her emotions out when necessary, and she swiftly switched to her logical mind when the situation warranted.
In the decision-making process, you need to strike a balance between your emotional heart and your logical mind. For example, you are a businessman, and another business tycoon proposed a fantastic idea to boost sales for your business. Your logical mind understands that partnering with him will benefit your business, but your emotional heart thinks he talks a lot and might leak your negotiations to another person – you think he isn’t trustworthy.
What decision would you make?
As someone with a balanced mind and heart, the best decision would be to attempt to develop a level of trust with him first. It could be detrimental to your business if you follow your logical mind, and partner with him right away, and it might be judgmental not to give him the benefit of the doubt when it comes to trust.
As I begin to wrap up, ask yourself these questions. Am I too logical? Am I too emotional? Can I strike a balance between both worlds?
Give yourself time to ruminate over these questions before reading further.
Were you able to reach a balanced conclusion with your findings?
I hope you now understand how being extremely logical, like I was, could be harmful to yourself and your relationships. Moving forward, I hope you will learn to strike a balance between your logical mind and your emotional heart.
Lastly, try not to be as close minded as I was. Instead of relying on stereotypes, understand that people are individuals and will always be different. As for the stigmatism of being “emotional”, I hope that can be put to rest as we come to appreciate the need for emotions as necessaryexpressions of unspeakable inner truths.