It’s the season of love, and we are all excited!
The ability to love someone and be loved is a blessing, but to love yourself is a gift only you can give to yourself. Self love or self-crush is an important attribute you need to have because it will not only boost your self-confidence, but it will help you interact freely with people, help you guide yourself, and not allow yourself to be taken for granted.
Understanding yourself, placing a value on yourself as a person, knowing your worth will not only benefit you as an individual but will also enable you to love people better. You can only love and accept love when you’ve loved yourself. You can’t love if you’re broken.
A relationship isn’t a measure of your value. That you’re single or aren’t being asked out doesn’t mean you aren’t worth something. The first significant relationship to have is the one with yourself. A relationship that teaches you how to love you first. A relationship that lets you learn from mistakes without criticism. That relationship with yourself where you learn to value yourself, and you’re not afraid to make mistakes. That relationship comes first!
If self love is so good, then why do people hate themselves? Why do people let others walk over them? Why do people hurt themselves? Why do people lose themselves trying to please others? Why do people settle for less?
It actually happens! Sometimes in our lives, we’ve let ourselves be taken for granted, settled for less because we feel that’s what we deserve, but it isn’t. We are ignorant of how much we are worth and how hugely God has endowed us! There are a lot of reasons why people hate themselves and accept the cheap love thrown at them.
- Low self-esteem
- Critic inner circle
- High expectations of yourself
- Unhealthy comparison
- Lack of identity
- Guilt from past mistakes
- Lack of acceptance
- Inferiority complex
There is something to note, though. Many people have tried to come out of the pit of self-loathing, but they end up becoming arrogant. There is a thin line between self-confidence and arrogance.
DISTINCTION BETWEEN BEING SELF-CONFIDENT AND BEING ARROGANT.
Self-confidence is the feeling of trust in one’s ability and capability, an understanding of your strength and weakness, and an ability to have a positive view of oneself. In contrast, arrogance is a feeling of overestimating one’s ability and believing that no one can measure up to one’s level. It is the extreme of self-confidence.
Arrogant people tend to defend themselves by claiming that they are only self-confident, but when you have a superb view of yourself and a tendency to look down on others, you are just plain arrogant. Understanding your value isn’t to put down others or have a biased view of yourself; instead, it’s to let you know what to accept and what not to accept.
In your quest for self love and self-confidence, you need to clearly view the ‘why‘ you need to be self-confident to avoid tilting to the other side. The reason is important because it keeps the balance between arrogance and self-confidence. Self-confidence isn’t the ultimate; neither is arrogance. The best person is one who keeps working to become a better person.
SIX (6) TIPS FOR SELF LOVE
Self love is the path to self-confidence; it’s the first hurdle in the race. And self-confidence comes from an understanding of your abilities and acceptance of your weaknesses. From there, you begin to work on yourself and love yourself as an individual. Even if you aren’t at the ‘perfect’ mark, you understand that you are on your path, and no one can define your worth except you.
Here are some tips you should embrace on your path to self love.
– Understanding yourself and your temperament.
Love itself is a journey that is nurtured and not rushed. It’s a process that starts with understanding. A relationship based on sentiments won’t last as much as one based on understanding. Understand yourself, your temperaments, inclinations, and even your weaknesses.
Don’t be afraid to accept your weaknesses because they are part of you. By doing this, you give yourself a chance to be better by understanding what you need to get done, areas you need to improve on, and things you need to maintain.
– Be flexible and forgive yourself for mistakes.
One of the compelling reasons people are devoid of self love is because they cannot forgive themselves for past mistakes. Don’t be too hard on yourself. We’re only humans, and mistakes are bound to happen. It’s part of the learning process. Forgive yourself and move on.
If you cannot forgive yourself, you end up stuck in your mistake, and it would be hard to make future progress. How can you love the person you are when you are stuck in the person you were?
– Avoid comparison and self-degrading.
Unhealthy comparison is terrible for you (okay for us!). The fact that you can’t do what Mr. B is doing doesn’t make you inferior to him. To each man his own. We are all unique in our ways, so find your beautiful inside of you.
Stop talking down on yourself and develop the ability of self-motivation. When your thoughts start to wander, when you start feeling less of yourself because of comparison, take a breather and motivate yourself instead.
– Believe in yourself and challenge yourself.
Believe in your ability no matter how small and set goals for yourself, not based on what others expect of you but based on what view you have of the person you want to become. Set realistic goals that are achievable and keep trying. Keep challenging yourself to be a better version of yourself. Instead of trying to be the best there is, strive to be the best of yourself!
– Have the right friends.
You become what you surround yourself with. Inputs from the environment influence our perspective; imagine the amount of influence your close circle can have on you! If you have friends who degrade others or friends full of criticisms, you’d be caught in a web before you know it. As much as no one can give you self love, your friends can influence you toward or away from a positive view of yourself.
– Read books.
Expand your knowledge. I haven’t seen a reader with low self-esteem (Okay! I don’t know all readers). This is mainly because reading books makes you knowledgeable such that you aren’t lost in a room of conversation. You can contribute something to the general knowledge. It increases your intelligence quotient and makes you feel good about yourself.
No one can make you value yourself; you’ve got to do it first. People react to what they are given. If you present yourself as a low-value person, you’ll be treated as such. You’re addressed the way you dress, and your dressing isn’t only what you wear but what you think of yourself. Your disposition, your aura, your perception, and everything that makes you well, You!
It’s the season of love, and we don’t want you to forget to show yourself love too!
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